In Repair

It's been 405 days since I first started this blog, first posted. A lot has happened between now and then. My dad has had surgery, my mom too. 2 New Year's and Christmases. 1 birthday. I could put a longer list down to dazzle you with how much time has passed but I will refrain, those things get annoying. But suffice it to say it has been a long 405 days. I've learned a lot, put a lot into practice, and done nothing concerning other things i've learned. I've had feelings come and go for 3 different girls, with only one being the constant. We're close, extremely close. We talk about everything, for long periods of time. 6 hours on the phone to be exact. But that aside i've come here to say something......ready?....are you sure?.....ok......I'm done. I've said it before and anyone who knows me will of course be skeptical. Hell i'm skeptical, I know myself and I know that this won't last forever. There's been a lot of heartbreak, i'll admit i've been a but crazy but that's what happens when you let your heart into anything. You go overboard, do things you wouldn't normally do. But for me? I'm done letting my heart think, that is not what it's there for. It's not there to think for me, and guide my decisions. I've let it guide me a lot over these past 405 days, it hasn't been the best. So i'm done. Dating? Bye. Feelings? See ya. Will I be a stone cold, emotionless robot? No, I just choose not to like anyone. It will hopefully make life simpler. Rose colored glasses, as love is sometimes called, are a hindrance to your sight. They keep you from seeing what is truly ahead of you. People always say stop thinking, you're thinking too much. My new favorite, you're thinking yourself dizzy. Which I can, believe me I can. But maybe that isn't such a good idea. If we didn't think we'd end up doing some pretty stupid things, maybe there is a place for logic in love. Let me be clear though, thinking with feelings is a bad idea. It will......color your judgment. You need to be objective, however hard that may be. So before you ask a girl out, or before you get invested. Stop, be objective and think. What would I tell someone to do? It may save you some heartache.